The Vocabulary of "I"

January 1, 2010
Rabbi Seymour Rossel

     Just out of high school, I went to Jerusalem for a year of study sponsored by the World Zionist Organization. There were courses on Jewish history and on Zionism, on group dynamics and on sociology. But the most intensive course of study was in Hebrew language. We spent nearly three hours a day in an Ulpan learning to speak. Afterwards, in the afternoons and evenings, in our free time, we went into town where we were free to practice our Hebrew.

     For a long period of time, the most I could do was to produce simple sentences that often began with "Where is ...?" or "How much is ...?" but most often the sentences began with "I want ..." or "I need ...."

     After a few months of this, I suddenly realized that nearly everything -- not only in my language, but even in my thought processes -- was based on the word "I." It would be several more months before I began to think in Hebrew and learned to express myself in broader ideas and concepts.

     This is the first day of the new year. This is the day we all dread. It is either the day on which we make New Year's resolutions or the day on which we can begin to carry out New Year's resolutions we have just made. Of course, we should keep in mind that a New Year's resolution has been called something that "goes in one Year and out the other."

     This is true because it is well-known that few of us ever really manage to keep our New Year's resolutions. The keeping of New Year's resolutions is an art and most of us are not artists. This gives rise to the famous story about a team of psychologists who conducted a study to monitor the New Year's resolutions of 275 people. After one week, the psychologists found that 92 percent of the 275 were still keeping their resolutions. By the second week, the psychologists had quit monitoring. "We lost our motivation," they reported. "Not only that, but we found ourselves eating Twinkies by the case."

     Motivation separates those who carry out resolutions from those who do not. And most of us manage not to be sufficiently motivated. Therefore, many bloggers on the Internet suggest that it is best to make resolutions that require practically no motivation. I collected a few to share with you in case you are still making out your list for this year.

     You can resolve not to sit behind your desk all day. Instead, from time to time, you can move your computer into your bedroom.

     You can resolve not to bore your boss with the same old excuse for asking for time off. Instead, you can think of new excuses.

     You can resolve to donate some time each week to neglected children -- for example, to your own children.

     You can resolve to read the manual that came with your Chanukah gift ... just as soon as you remember where you put it.

     You can resolve to keep a safe distance from the car ahead of you if the car ahead of you is a police car.

     You can resolve to buy your lottery tickets at a luckier store.

     You can resolve to spend less money on useless stuff like DVD Rewinders.

     You can resolve to be less like yourself.

     You can resolve to gain 200 pounds, not 200 pounds of pure muscle, but the equivalent of 700,000 calories in brownies, Snickerdoodles, cupcakes, fudge pops, margaritas, Mars bars, M&Ms, margarine sandwiches, and guacamole milkshakes. This is one resolution you can certainly keep.

     Or you can resolve to remember that the word "stressed" spelled backwards is "desserts."

     By now you may have noticed that New Year's resolutions have a lot in common with learning a new language. As an amateur at making resolutions, you are basically reduced to thinking only of "I" -- what I want and what I need. That's when you might take some advice from a "professional" like the famous British writer, G. K. Chesterton, who wrote,

The object of a New Year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul and a new nose; new feet, a new backbone, new ears, and new eyes. Unless a particular man made New Year resolutions, he would make no resolutions. Unless a man starts afresh about things, he will certainly do nothing effective. Unless a man starts on the strange assumption that he has never existed before, it is quite certain that he will never exist afterwards. Unless a man be born again, he shall by no means enter into the Kingdom of Heaven.

     Chesterton made quite a leap. The purpose of the New Year for him progresses from the opportunity to start anew to the possibility of entering the Kingdom of Heaven. But we cannot enter heaven by thinking first of ourselves. So the New Year's resolutions that you make this year should feature a new component -- the needs of others.

     Especially now, in a time in our country and in the world when so many are so needy, it is time for us to make these new kinds of resolutions.

     You can resolve to help end world hunger by making donations to organizations like Mazon.

     You can resolve to help those who are in need close to home through working for and supporting the work of organizations like the Northwest Assistance Ministries or the Jewish Federation.

     Or you can resolve to help those even closer by working for and supporting the good work of Congregation Jewish Community North.

     The time has come to stop being limited to the vocabulary of "I" and to make ourselves part of the ideas and concepts that constitute the vocabulary of "we." And let us say: Amen.