In this week's portion Titzaveh, instructions are given for the ordination of the High Priests and for the incense altar on which only they are allowed to sacrifice. This gave rise to thoughts of prayer and how prayer can work.

Be Merciful to God

February 15, 2008
Rabbi Seymour Rossel

Many folk who attend synagogue have little faith in prayer. There are other reasons for belonging to a synagogue, even for attending services. I like the story about Isaac, an atheist and an old-time Socialist, who went to synagogue every Sabbath. When he was dying, his son asked him, "Father, why did you teach me that God does not exist when you were going every week to the synagogue?" Isaac answered, "My friend Berel went to synagogue, so I went to synagogue." You can be comfortable here just being friends, one extended family, and all together. CJCN is a sacred space whether you are an atheist, and agnostic, or a believer.

Another fellow refused to go to synagogue because God refused to answer him. "I prayed when my father was dying, but my father still died. Then I prayed when my mother was dying, but my mother still died. I've had enough of praying. God refuses to answer." Of course, it seems that his real problem was that God refused to answer his prayers with a "Yes." God most certainly answered his prayers with a "No." In the Torah, Moses pleads with God to allow him to enter the Promised Land. God says, "No. And never again ask Me about this." Moses does not turn his back and say, "God refuses to answer."

We have to accept God's answers to our prayers. As God said to Job, "Where were you when I was laying the foundation stone of the universe?" meaning, "Do you think that it is in your power to know what God should answer to your prayers? Do you think you know what is best?" You have the freedom to pray, you have the inclination to pray, but you do not have the wisdom or the power to control the answers to prayer.

God is not a heavenly bellhop, waiting for you to call room service and ask for what you want. God is not a vending machine which returns what you want whenever you insert your prayer. God is not the UPS or the Federal Express, delivering what you want when you want it with the speed you indicate. Prayer is not an exchange of opinions or a purchase order to heaven. Prayer does not come with a money-back guarantee or with an unlimited twenty-four/seven support line.

If God can say No to Moses, God can say No to you. Imagine two armies in trenches across from one another with the battlefield in between. Soldiers on either side of the conflict are praying the exact same prayer. Both sides are praying to win, neither side wants to lose, every soldier -- no matter his side -- is asking the same God for survival. No God could answer all these prayers in an equal way. And our God even has trouble choosing sides. When the Israelites walked through the Sea and Pharaoh's chariots, horses, and soldiers were swallowed by the Sea, the angels in heaven suddenly began to sing songs of celebration with the Israelites. God admonished the angels, saying, "How can you rejoice when My children, the Egyptians, are dying?"

For God to be the kind of God that we would want to believe in, God must care for all creatures -- every person, every animal, every blade of grass or leaf of tree is precious to God. How could it be otherwise? In this complexity of creation, God must judge what prayers should be answered with a Yes and what prayers with a No. Death and illness are God's creations, too, even when we cannot fathom their purpose. And the answers to death and illness seem to be in our hands to discover, though we cannot fathom why God gives us the power to conquer them.

But when we set out to conquer death and illness, it is not through prayer that we prevail, it is only through our work and our perseverance that we prevail. Every problem has a solution, but prayer is not the solution to all of life's problems.

Of course, you are allowed to ask for things in prayer, knowing that not all things you ask will be delivered, but there are prayers that are answered before they are prayed. When you thank God for a blessing you are about to enjoy, or for sustaining you to this moment, you are praying to recognize the fact that God has already blessed you. Any prayer of gratitude is a prayer that has a Yes answer because God has anticipated your need even before you asked.

When you ask God for forgiveness, this is a prayer that has a Yes answer before you ask. Of course, God cannot forgive a wrong you have committed against another person, that can only be forgiven by the person you have wronged. But God's gates of repentance are never closed. You always get a Yes to your prayers for forgiveness if the matter is between you and God.

Finally, in the catalogue of prayer, there is that little matter of faith with which we began. It will do no good to pray to God to give you faith in God. You must find it within yourself to have faith -- faith is connected to hope and hope is tied to faith. When you lose hope, there is no faith to sustain you. When you have faith, you have hope. For those who cannot find the spark of faith inside there is only despair and disillusionment. Yet the spark of faith remains within even these folk, if only they would search their hearts, pay closer attention to the grass, the trees, the beauty of the sun rising and the sun setting, the caress of a friend, the comfort of a pet, the grace of a child. When you find your spark of faith, it commands you to pray, to thank God, to beg God's forgiveness, and to ask for the kinds of things that God alone can deliver to us all. Let there be peace, let there be wisdom, let us seek God in our hearts and God's world through our actions in this world. Let us grow up and be mature about the prayer we offer. Let us be merciful to God by accepting a No every once and again without losing faith. Let us keep on hoping and therefore keep on praying. If you rise from your prayer a better person, your prayer has been answered. And let us say, Amen.